All you need is love.

John Lennon

The Truth About Thoughts

The Truth About Thoughts

As I crossed the Oakland Bay Bridge tears rolled down my face. It had been a miserable week and I was telling myself life wasn’t worth living. All sorts of ideas rolled around in my head and none of them good.

I was on my way to pick up my daughter from tutoring in San Francisco, so when I arrived instead of going inside to let them see my tear-stained face I stayed in the car and waited.

From the corner of my eye, I could see a blue car parked across the street.  A middle- aged businessman sat in the driver’s seat.  I wondered for a moment why he didn’t exit his car, but then I chuckled to myself because I was also staying in mine.

A moment later a yellow car came up the hill and parked behind me.  Then from the opposite direction, silver Mercedes parked next to the yellow car.

The businessman stepped out of his car and as he walked directly behind me I saw something in his left hand. He calmly walked up to the passenger side of the yellow car, lifted his arm and fired off one shot. I could hear the sound of a man dying. I shook to the core, slipping quietly down in my seat as far as I could so that they didn’t notice I was there.  I watched the businessman walk back to his car and leisurely drive away, then, the other two cars did the same.

Had they seen me? I was without my cell phone and I was so scared I couldn’t think rationally. As soon as I started my car and put on the breaks, I realized the Mercedes was at the bottom of the hill. I was sure he had seen my lights come on in the dusk of the evening, and I knew I had to get out of there fast.  I flew down the hill only to find the Mercedes was on my tail.  Through several streets and on to the 280 Freeway he followed me.  In fear for my life, I kept going until I was sure he had given up.  Finally, I pulled into a gas station used the phone and called the police.

The police escort met me back at the scene to get my daughter and advised me not to come back to that location for a while.  They didn’t have to say it twice.

On the one day I seriously had considered suicide, I could hear my guardian angel chiding me.  “You said you wanted to die, you almost got your wish.”  Call it instant karma, immediate manifestation, or just plain coincidence.  I will always remember to be grateful for this gift of life, and I also will remember pay heed to that old adage -be careful what you wish for, you might just get it.

Fay Guilian

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